


not a joke

by potat0niall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Pining, marriage AU, pining au, ziall, ziallhorlik
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:14:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28724184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potat0niall/pseuds/potat0niall
Summary: niall and zayn get married in a drunken game of truth or dare. Niall jokes around about it all, but what happens when it goes further than a joke?
Relationships: Niall Horan/Zayn Malik
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	not a joke

**Author's Note:**

> loosely based off of Nevada's Fault
> 
> also this is poorly edited lol sorry

“Come onnn Niall, for my birthday!” Louis pleaded, pulling Niall into his room. 

“No Louis, last time you made me eat two sticks of butter! And your birthdays not even for another month” Niall said, crossing his arms. Louis always celebrated his birthday in November instead of his actual birthday which is the day before Crhistmas. Niall always thought it was a little funny but he usually went with it. Niall’s just not sure if he wants to deal with another one of Louis’s drunk truth or dares. Something bad always ends up happening.

“You don’t know the pain of being pushed out of your mother’s vagina on christmas eve. Besides you’re just afraid you’re gonna loseee” Louis taunted, taking another swig of his beer. 

“What! I never lose! You’re on Tommo” Niall stumbled into the room and threw himself on the floor next to the other 3 boys. If Niall’s being honest, he may have had a few too many shots at the bar, but by the looks of it, the other boys aren’t doing too much better. It’s Louis he’s more worried about. Louis likes to get everyone wasted and take advantage of them with truth or dare. Louis’s dares are always brutal. He’s not really sure why he agreed but he also knew there was no real way out of it. Plus, Niall usually likes to go with the flow.

“That’s what I thought. I’ll go first. Zaynnn, truth or dare!” Louis’s smile grew suspiciously wide, his eyes narrowing on Zayn.

“Truth”

“Really Malik? Boringggg” Louis said, slumping into the couch across from everyone. 

“Last time you dared me to make out with Simon. I’m sticking with truth” Zayn rolled his eyes. Niall bit his tongue trying to hold back his laughter. He had forgotten about that. Just the look on Simon’s face was priceless. It was probably top 10 of the funniest things Niall had ever witnessed.

“Ugh, fine. Which one of our dicks would you suck” Louis asked, licking his lips and flaunting his eyebrows. 

“My own” Zayn replied with a cheeky grin. 

“That doesn’t count. You can’t even suck your own dick” 

“Actually Lou, I heard if you remove some of your ribs, you can!” Niall piped in with a smile

“Not helping Niall. Just pick someone Zayn”

“Ummm. I’d blow Niall’s” Zayn shrugged.

“Wow, I feel truly honored, Malik” Niall said, bursting into laughter. 

“Horny for Horan , ey?” Louis snickered

“Can you really blame him?” Niall grinned, throwing his body into a sexy pose. 

“How could you pick Niall, Zayn! I thought we had a special bond” Harry pouted.

“Pretty sure you already have that ‘special bond’ with Louis” Zayn rolled his eyes. Harry blushed and looked back down. “Anyways, Harry, truth or dare”

“Dare!” Harry said, putting on a brave face. 

“Hmm, I dare you to… uhm. To eat a whole jar of mayonnaise” 

“What! No! You can’t make me!” Harry pleaded.

“You have to. Or else you get the losers punishmenttt” Louis smirked.

“Fuck you guys” Harry said, stumbling off to the kitchen to grab the mayo.

“I’m going to get you back for this Zayn” Harry muttered, scraping the last spoonful of mayo. It had taken him nearly 30 minutes to eat it all and at least 3 trips to the bathroom to barf. Niall cringed at the whole thing. He can’t tell if the mayo or his butter experience was worse. He passed around a bottle of cheap vodka with Liam and Zayn to distract themselves from the horrid scene while Louis followed Harry around each time he had to rush to the bathroom.

“Liam, truth or dare” Harry spat, clearly still pissed off at Zayn.

“Truth!” Liam responded, almost too quickly.

“What! Come on! I just had to do that bullshit dare and you pick truth!”

“Duh! If I pick dare, you’re going to take out your anger on me when it’s Zayn’s fault!” Liam said, throwing his hands up in defence. It was honestly a good choice. Niall would have done the same in Liam’s position. 

“Whatever. Which one of us do you hate the most” Harry grumbled. 

“What! Harry, you can’t make me answer that!”

“I just had to eat a jar of mayo. I can make you answer anything” Harry stuck out his tongue. 

The two argued back and forth for a few minutes until Louis intervened and made Harry change the question. While eating mayo was brutal, this question could create some real drama. Niall knew this game wasn’t a great idea, but he has to admit that it’s definitely entertaining. Niall and Zayn kept shooting each other looks during the whole interaction, trying to hide back their laughter over Harry’s stubbornness even though it was really Zayn’s fault.

“Alright Nialler, truth or dare” Liam sighed after his whole fight with Harry had finally ended. 

“Oh thank god” Niall whispered to himself. Liam’s dares were always pretty lame so he always preferred it when Liam asked him. 

“What did you just say?” Liam raised his eyebrow.

“Nothing. I chose dare.”

“No, tell me what you said first” 

“He said ‘oh thank god.’ He knows your dares are lame so he’s glad you pick him” Zayn laughed. 

“Shut up Zayn!” Niall said wide eyed, smacking Zayn in the arm. 

“What? My dares aren’t lame!” Liam protested. 

“Yes they are. Come on Payno, I mean, last time you dared Niall to do his Irish jig dance. He already does that all the time” Louis shook his head in disapproval.

“At least I’m not cruel and dare people to eat mayo!”

“Preach” Harry rolled his eyes.

“But, fine. If you think my dares are so boring, then I dare you to.. Ummmm. ” Liam mumbled. 

“Hurry it up Payno or I’ll pick one for you” Louis groaned. Liam sat there for a few more seconds until he suddenly started chuckling to himself. 

“I- I dare you to marry Zayn!” Liam burst into laughter

“Yeah, right!” Niall chuckled along with Liam

“No, I’m serious! We’ll go to one of those spontaneous wedding chapels!” Liam grinned

“Liam, that dare is gonna take hours!” Zayn exclaimed.

“Too bad! You have to do it! You know the punishment” Louis added. 

“Fine, but only because Zayn said he’d suck my dick” Niall laughed, blowing a kiss at Zayn. He’d probably put up more of a fight against the dare if he hadn’t found the whole situation hilarious. It also didn’t help that he was probably drunkest he had been in a while. 

“Don’t worry Nialler, we’ll get to that after the wedding” Zayn winked. Niall could tell Zayn was also absolutely pissed, just from Zayn’s sloppy wink.

“Oh, I love weddings! Niall, you have to make me your best man!” Harry exclaimed, immediately getting out of his bad mood. 

“Course, Harry. Now, come with my room to help me pick out an outfit” Niall said, struggling to pull himself up.

“Nooo. We have to go to a store to get you a proper suit! Oh, and rings!” 

“Fuck yeah, book us one of those hotels with the heart shaped beds too” Zayn added.

“And get cake. I will not be getting married without cake!” Niall insisted. 

“Alright, Harry, you take Niall to get a suit and ring. I’ll take Zayn. And Liam, since this was your dare after all, you have to find the chapel, book the hotel and find the cake” Louis grabbed onto Zayn, beer still in hand. 

“Fine, give me all the boring parts” Liam groaned. 

The next hour was a blur. Niall and Harry had taken a cab to some random suit store. Niall also may have yakked in the back of the cab, but that's besides the point. He’s pretty sure Harry paid off the driver to not complain. Niall was honestly surprised the suit store was even open, considering it was 1 am. Niall had tried on at least a dozen suits until Harry finally approved. They had chosen a soft purple suit. Next, they stumbled into some weird novelty store with lots of weird jewelry. Niall found a cute silver ring with an Irish flag on it and decided it was perfect. Harry only laughed at his choice. 

They took another cab to the address Liam had texted them a little bit ago. Harry did some weird shit with Niall’s hair since they didn’t have any gel on the cab ride there. He’s not even sure what it looks like now, but Harry assured him he looks handsome. 

“I can’t believe you’re actually going through with this” Harry chuckled as they arrived at the chapel. 

“Niall Horan does not lose!” Niall jumped with enthusiasm. 

“Yeah, but this is kind of extreme. I mean, you're actually getting married!” 

“You’re just jealous I’m the one getting a blow job later!” Niall laughed and poked Harry in the nose. 

“Oh shut it. Now let's get inside, everyone’s waiting for us” Harry pulled Niall into the chapel. Zayn was already at the head of the church, standing next to some old sleazebag that Niall assumed was the minister. Niall had to admit that Zayn didn’t look half bad. He was wearing a velvety black suit and had a stupid grin on his face as Niall walked in. There was also a new blonde streak in Zayn’s usual quiff, but Zayn pulled it off really well. Niall grinned as he walked up to Zayn, trying his best not to trip.

“You look quite dashing Niall, love the purple”

“And you look gorgeous as always Malik. But don’t go dyeing the rest of your head blonde. Being the blonde of the group is all I’ve got!” Niall laughed, as he raked his fingers through Zayn’s new hair.

“Oh come on, you know that’s not true! But I won’t anyways” 

“Okay, okay, stop the flirting and get married already!” Louis hollered.

Soon enough, the minster started the ceremony. If a 5 minutes ceremony counts as a ceremony. Louis stood next to Zayn while Harry stood next to Niall. Liam sat in front of them all holding a camera and a basket of flowers. Louis had given him the basket, claiming that Liam had to be the flower girl. 

“Say some quick vows and then present your rings” the minister instructed, after saying a few things Niall honestly didn’t comprehend.

“It all started when you said those 3 magical words” Niall began. “You looked me in the eyes with that beautiful smirk of yours and said, ‘I’d suck Niall’s.’ That’s when I knew you were the one for me” Niall pulled the ring he had bought earlier and slid it onto Zayn’s finger, trying his hardest to suppress his laughter. 

“It’s perfect. Now I’ll never forget my favorite irish princess.” Zayn smiled. Niall noticed that when Zayn smiled, his tongue stuck through his teeth. It made his stomach feel a little weird, but he ignored it, assuming it was from the massive amount of alcohol he had consumed. 

“It all started for me when you proposed removing my ribs to suck my own dick. That’s when I realized I can’t live without your brilliant ideas and that beautiful laugh of yours.” Zayn pulled out his ring and slid it onto Niall’s finger. It was silver, like Niall’s, but it was encrusted with dick shaped diamond. 

“Do you, Neil James Horny, take Vain Javaad Lick to be your lawfully wedded husband?” the minster asked. 

“Louis! You said you’d put our real names!” Zayn groaned and Niall couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t ruin the moment Vain. I do” Niall squeezed Zayn’s hand and stared into Zayn’s amber eyes. 

“And do you, Vain Javaad Lick, take Neil James Horny to be your lawfully wedded husband?” 

“I do,” Zayn said, staring equally as intense into Niall’s eyes. 

“You may now kiss the groom”

They both leaned in and connected their lips, forming a sloppy but sweet kiss that tasted like nothing but cheap vodka. 

…

When Niall woke up, his head was pounding. He tried to sleep it off but he realized he felt a weight pushing him down. Niall’s eyes snapped open. Zayn was wrapped around Niall’s chest. And they were both naked. Laying on top of a heart shaped bed covered in rose petals. Niall’s heart started beating at the speed of light as he tried to recall what happened last night. And then it hit him. He had married Zayn last night! He looked down at his hands and saw the dick shaped ring, illuminating on his finger. But that wasn’t all. Niall faintly remembered actually giving eachother blow jobs last night because ‘Zayn had promised.’ Fuck. But the worst part of it all, is that Niall remembered liking it. What was he supposed to do now? Do they get divorced? Should he keep up the act when Zayn gets up? Does Zayn even remember? Niall looked down at Zayn but realized his eyes aren’t closed either. Zayn’s eyes were wide with shock, much like Nialls, but neither of them moved. 

“Um, Hi” Niall said.

“Hi… Neil Horny” Zayn chuckled. Niall felt a shock of relief flow through his body knowing that Zayn wasn’t mad. 

“So what’s next? The honeymoon? Where should we go?” Niall asked, trying to lighten the air more.

“Mmm. I’m thinking we go to Nandos” Zayn proposed

“You really do know the way to my heart” Niall giggled. 

“I’d be a rotten husband if I didn't,” Zayn smiled, fiddling with his ring. Niall raked his hands through Zayn’s hair. He forgot about the blonde streak Zayn got just for the wedding. 

“Can’t believe you bleached apart of your hair for the wedding”

“That’s the part you can’t believe?” Zayn raised his eyebrow. 

“Oh shuddup Niall laughed. “Now we should probably get up before Louis decided to bust in here and gloat about last night. If they catch us now, they’ll think we did something”

“Well we did do something” 

“Doesn’t mean we need them knowing that” Niall smiled lightly. Despite the fact that he may have enjoyed what had happened last night, the last thing he needed was Louis knowing. Louis would spend the rest of his life making fun of him over it when Niall isn’t even sure what’s going to happen next with Zayn.

“You’re right. But my head hurts. And you’re warm”

“Hmm, well I guess they can’t get in since the door locks” Niall smirked, remembering that hotel doors lock by themselves anyways, so he has nothing to worry about.

“Perfect” 

They laid there together still cuddled up for about an hour in a comfortable silence. They probably should have taken advil and had some water for their hangovers but neither of them wanted to move. Unfortunately a loud banging on their door halted their plans.

“Niallll, Zaynnn open up. Come get brunch with us” Louis shouted from the other side of the door. 

“No thanks, we’re going on our honeymoon” Zayn yelled back.

“Real funny. Just open up!”

Niall groaned as they slowly got up. 

“Shit, where are our clothes” Niall whispered 

“I dunno fuck.” Zayn said, looking frantically around the room. Zayn peered into the bathroom and came back out with two pink fuzzy robes. “Here, just throw on this robe” 

”What’s taking so longgg!” Louis yelled 

“Calm your tits, I’m coming!” Niall yelled back as he quickly threw on the robe and unlocked the door.

“Finally! If you took any longer I would have thought you guys were having sex!” Louis exclaimed, strutting into the room. 

“Matching robes?” Harry raised his eyebrow 

“We went through this yesterday Harry. Just because Zayn would rather suck my dick doesn’t mean you have to be jealous” Niall winked causing Harry to groan in response.

“You guys in for brunch or what?” Liam asked

“Already told you we have a honeymoon to attend” Zayn said.

“You guys aren’t serious?” 

“Why wouldn’t we be? He’s taking me to Nandos. He’s so sweet isn’t he?” Niall gushed.

“Are you guys still drunk?” Liam walked up to Niall, looking straight into his eyes with a look of confusion spreading across his face.

“Liam, you’re the one who made us get married and now you want us to skip our honeymoon? Make up your mind!” Zayn said, interrupting Liams harsh gaze.

“Leave it Payno. Let them have their weird ass honeymoon for now. Management is probably gonna lose their heads as them later anyways” Louis shrugged with a laugh.

“Whatever. Just remember we have an interview at 4 today and we have to be there 30 minutes early” Liam warned as they walked out of the room.

“I forgot about management. Do you think they know?” Niall asked.

“Idunno. Like- did any paps see us last night” They both went to go grab their phones. Soon enough they saw dozens of pictures and articles. There was even a picture where Zayn and Niall posed with their marriage certificate. 

“When the fuck did we pose for the paps” Niall says flabbergasted.

“We didn’t. It was fucking Harry” 

“What do you mean?”

“Harry took these pictures and posted it on instagram last night,”

“Fuck”

“Let’s worry about it later. We gotta honeymoon to get ready for” Zayn smirked.

“Of course honey” Niall smiled and put a wet kiss on Zayn’s cheek. Niall froze a little but, wondering if he overstepped boundaries. He would kiss Zayn on the cheek even before this whole marriage ordeal, but now he wasn’t sure if it was weird. But Zayn just smiled back so Niall assumed it was fine.

They decided to clean up first in the jacuzzi in the bathroom. It was heart shaped like the bed. It’s also where they ended up finding their suits from last night. Niall couldn’t believe he had actually chosen a purple suit but it didn’t look half bad. The suits didn’t smell too great but they didn’t have any other clothes so they put them on anyways and threw on some of the hotel’s shitty cologne. Niall honestly isn’t quite sure why they’re still playing along with the whole thing but he has to admit that it's kind of fun. He had kind of expected Zayn to be freaked out when he realized what they did last night. They were best mates and all. 

They finally left their suite around 1 and took a cab to Nandos. They paid off the restaurant to eat in a private area. They both laughed and joked about their previous night but neither of them brought up the actual severity of the situation.

As Niall finished up his last pint, he checked the time and realized it was already 3.

“Shit Zayn, we gotta get going or Liam’ll kill us” Niall said, interrupting their banter.

“I guess you’re right. We can get back to our honeymoon later” Zayn sighed as he got up from the table. 

“You mean we’re coming back? I mean don’t get me wrong I love Nandos-” 

“No you idiot we aren’t coming back to Nandos” Zayn laughed as he pulled Niall out of the restaurant.

“Then what do you mean?”

“I guess you’ll have to find out” Zayn poked Niall in the stomach. 

“Mmm, I think you’re my favorite husband yet” Niall giggled and poked Zayn back. 

“Well I’d sure hope so” Zayn swung his arm around Niall as he used his other arm to call a cab over. “The interview’s over 20 minutes away so I think we have to head straight there.” 

“We’re still in our wedding clothes, managements gonna throw a fit!” NIall said as he climbed into the back of the cab.

“Management was already gonna throw a fit. Plus we can just play it off as if we purposely wore them again for the interview” Zayn grinned. Niall returned the grin and shrugged off his worries. What was the worst that could happen? 

\---

“It’s about time you guys showed up! I said you had to be here at 3:30” Liam yelled the second Niall and Zayn walked into the interview.

“We’re only 5 minutes late, chill out mate. It’s not our fault our cab driver took the scenic route” Niall laughed, knowing it was completely their fault. Niall had thought it would be more exciting and that it could be a treat for their honeymoon, even if the “scenic route” wasn’t actually that scenic. He has really just wanted more time to stall with Zayn.

“Just get ready. But please tell me you guys aren’t wearing those suits for the interview”

“We don’t have much of an option. We came straight from our honeymoon” Zayn shrugged.

“Enough with the honeymoon! You already completed the dare last night!” Liam groaned, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. 

“Liam, you can’t expect us to call it a proper wedding if we don’t have a honeymoon!” Niall gasped and grabbed Liam’s shoulders to shake him.

“You know what, I can’t with you two right now. Just please be ready for this interview” Liam muttered, walking away. Niall and Zayn just laughed in response and proceeded to fist bump before they got ready.

…

When the interview started, the interviewer ignored the obvious and started off with some basic questions they’ve probably answered at least a hundred times at this point. Niall never really understood why interviewers ask the same bland questions. It’s not like he wants the interviewer to ask him about the marriage but he also doesn’t understand why they would ask them the same questions they had answered just last week at a different interview. 

“Now for what everyone’s been dying to know, Niall and Zayn, did you guys really get married last night?” the lady asked, turning her head to the two. 

“It’s true,” Niall grinned as Zayn put his arm around him.

“We’re actually interrupting our honeymoon to be here” Zayn replied poshly. 

“Wow! How did this happen?” the interview asked with surprise and excitement.

“What can we say, we’re just soulmates” Niall geeked as he turned his head and pressed a kiss to Zayn’s cheek.

“He even got me this ring!” Zayn grinned as he flashed the silly irish flag to the camera. Niall laughed but assumed that maybe he shouldn’t show them his ring considering their audience. Niall doesn’t actually really care if his fans see it, he just doesn't want to deal with the backlash from the overbearing parents.

“Oh my god” Liam groaned. “They’re actually only married because I dared them to in a friendly game of truth or dare. Didn’t think it would get this out of hand”

“Oh Payno. He’s just in a bad mood because he came up with another terrible dare.” Louis chuckled.

“Louis! Are you calling our wedding terrible!” Niall gasped.

“And to believe I let you be my best man” Zayn scoffed as Niall leaned his head against his chest. Niall knows that most of this is to piss off Liam, but he has to admit that he kind of likes it. He decided it was best to ignore any possible repercussions that might come in the future.

“Louis you told me last night you thought my dare was hilarious!” Liam snapped his head toward Louis all offended. Harry was just cracking up on the other side of the couch and it took all of Niall’s strength to not do the same. 

“It was. And it still is for all of us. But it sure did backfire for you, I mean, you thought you’d be the one with the last laugh but here we are.” Louis laughed and nudged Harry in the arm. 

“So the marriage was just a dare? Does this mean you two will be getting a divorce soon?” the interviewer asks. Niall’s surprised how she's able to remain so calm over their stupidity. 

“Yes” Liam grunted. 

“Liam! We just got married and you’re already proposing a divorce? If I didn’t know any better I’d think you just want Zayn for yourself” Niall turned his head away from Liam pretending to be disgusted. 

“Liam is this true? I hope you know I’m happily married to Niall. No hard feelings, right?” Zayn said sincerely, flashing his puppy eyes to Liam while Liam just groaned again in response. Harry absolutely lost it again, cackling and using Louis for support. Niall silently chuckled to himself knowing that that was usually him in most interviews. 

“I’m gonna be honest with you guys, I don’t think I’ve ever been more confused in my life” the interviewer said with a puzzled look on her life. Niall sighed. He knew he should probably answer at little more seriously or else management would actually kill them if they weren’t already planning on it. 

“The marriage was a dare, yeah, but Zayn and I haven’t discussed what we’re going to do next yet.” Niall said, hoping that would be enough to appease everyone for the moment. 

“I know Liam’s against it, but I’m rooting for them. They were wearing the cutest matching robes this morning” Harry beamed, finally done laughing. 

“How cute” the interviewer began “And while I’d love to get more details, our time is up. Thank you so much for your time” 

\--  
After the interview, Niall and Zayn walked towards the exit with their arms linked laughing along to everything. Suddenly, Niall felt someone grasp his other arm, pulling him and Zayn backwards. Niall turned his head, stunned to see Simon there.

“Oh, hey Simon! Long time no see” Niall chuckled nervously.

“Both of you come with me. We have matters to discuss” Simon said with no emotion in his voice. He led them to his limo and had them sit across from him. 

“Simon, I-”

“Not here” Simon interrupted. The rest of the ride to Simon’s office was awkward and quiet. Niall fiddled with his fingers the whole way there. He hasn’t gotten in trouble with Simon very often. And Naill knew that closeting in the music industry was an apparent issue. He was losing his head over what might happen over the silly dare. 

…

“So Zayn” Simon began as he adjusted himself in his big office chair. “What did I tell you last time you were here? You remember don’t you? After you decided to kiss me?” Simon spat with a faint chuckle.

“To not play truth or dare,” Zayn muttered, barely above a whisper.

“What was that? Speak up”

“To not play truth or dare,” Zayn repeated, a little louder, looking down at his lap.

“Ah, yes. To not play truth or dare” Simon smiled as he took a long sip from his navy blue mug. “But what did you guys do?”

“I’m sorry Simon, it was my fau-” Niall tried to explain. However it came out really fast and was masked with his accent a bit. Zayn gaped at him and looked like he was about to interrupt Niall but Simon had beat him to it. Niall was hoping to draw the attention of Zayn since it was technically Niall’s dare anyways. Plus, Zayn tended to get in more trouble with Simon than Niall so he thought that maybe Simon would go easier on him.

“Did I say you could speak Niall?” Simon interrupted. “I have to admit, I’m a little surprised you’re the one in my office this time. You and Liam are usually the obedient ones, staying out of trouble. But I've also heard Liam had a part in this too. I have to say I’m disappointed.” Simon paused and took another long sip from his mug, keeping eye contact with both boys. “However, you guys are getting off lucky. The media seems to be eating this up and views are going through the roof. So I’m not going to punish you. That is as long as you actually stay away from truth or dare this time. You guys can do whatever you want with this whole marriage thing for a bit. You can keep playing it up for a little longer or get divorced immediately, either way it’ll still grab a lot of media attention. But you have to make the decision now. And you will have to get divorced eventually before it gets too weird”

Niall turned to meet his eyes with Zayn. Neither of them had talked about what they’d actually do. If Niall’s honest he enjoys the whole act and would like to do it a little longer. Based on the smirk that grew on Zayn’s lips, he thinks Zayn is probably feeling the same.

“I think we’ll keep playing it up for a bit” Niall grinned

“Interesting choice” Simon said, raising his eyebrow at the two. “Not entirely sure what you two are getting out of this but I don’t really care. Just keep acting like you did during the interview earlier and everything should run smoothly. We’ll keep in contact” Simon smiled before he ushered them out of his office. 

..

“Can I open my eyes yet?” Niall groaned as Zayn continued to pull him along.

“No, I told you it’s a surprise” Zayn sang for the tenth time that night. They continued walking for a little bit longer as Niall dragged his feet like a whiny toddler. “Okay, you can open them now”

Niall ripped his eyes open, tired of waiting. He was completely taken back by the scene. There was a candlelit picnic that had almost all of Niall’s favorite foods. It was right next to the beach and a small yet cozy looking bungalow that was strung with fun lights. About a mile down the beach, Niall could see a carnival that looked similar to the first carnival he had ever been to with the boys. 

“Zayn I-” Niall began, practically too dumbstruck to speak. “You didn’t have to do all this”

“You didn’t really think Nandos was going to be our real honeymoon, didya?” Zayn chuckled. 

“We got married in a 5 minute ceremony by a sermon who despised us while we were drunk off our asses all because we were dared to. I can’t say I was expecting anything” 

“You’re right but I still thought it would be fun anyways. Plus it gets us out of having to do those interviews and ads we were supposed to do this weekend” Zayn waggled his eyebrows. 

“Liam is going to be so fucking pissed” Niall laughed as he pulled Zayn into a hug. “But thank you Z. And while nothing can beat this whole thing you’ve put together, I actually have something for you” Niall whispered into Zayn’s ear. 

“What is it?” Zayn asked as they pulled out of the hug. 

“Close your eyes” Niall smirked. 

“You’re just making me do this because I made you close your eyes earlier” Zayn groaned, but he complied anyway. 

“Maybe” Niall chuckled as he pulled a gold pendant out of his blazer’s left pocket and carefully strung it around Zayn’s neck. 

“Open!” 

Zayn slowly opened his eyes and immediately laughed as his eyes grazed over the gold pendant. “Really? A shamrock?” 

“Not just any shamrock. Open it!” Zayn brought his hands to the necklaces and carefully opened it with a quizzical look on his face. Once he opened it and brought it closer to his face, he broke out into a warm smile. On one side, it held a picture of the two of them kissing at the wedding. On the other side, it held one of the first pictures they had taken with each other back during the xfactor.

“Niall, when did you even get this? You were with me all day today” 

“I could ask you the same about this whole scene” Niall said, pointing to the picnic and the bungalow behind them. “But I actually bought the necklace at the same store I got your ring. Harry took that picture of us at the wedding. Meant to give it to ya last night actually”

“Well I love it. Can’t believe I’m wearing a shamrock and an irish flag now though. Does this make me Irish?” Zayn asked in what Niall assumed was supposed to be an Irish accent.

“ ‘course. Just please don’t do that accent ever again” Niall laughed. “Now let's eat, ‘m starved”

They spent the next hour peacefully eating and chatting. They may have had a few drinks as well. But they weren’t drunk yet. They were walking towards the carnival across the beach when they were interrupted with a phone call. Zayn pulled out his phone to see Louis was calling. 

“Put it on speaker” Niall grinned. Zayn accepted the call and was immediately greeted by loud laughing. 

“You guys are fucking hilarious. You should see the fit Liam is having. I haven’t seen him this mad since I shared a room with him and replayed his failing xfactor audition over and over.” Louis yelled through the phone. 

“Stop fucking laughing” Liam faintly yelled in the background. Niall immediately fell to his knees laughing. He never was good at controlling his laughter, and after all the laughing he had to suppress at the interview, he couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“I almost feel bad for him at this point,” Niall wheezed. 

“No you don’t Niall” Zayn chuckled. “Louis, how’d you find out what we were doing anyways?”

“Luke told us. What are you guys actually doing anyways?” Louis asked, finally calming down a bit. 

“What do you mean?” Zayn asked

“I know you told Luke to say you guys were on some fancy ass honeymoon by the beach just to fuck with us. What are you actually doing all weekend?”

“Oh yeah haha. We’re um-” Zayn paused, staying silent with a concentrated look on his face. 

“We’re going to the carnival. And then I’m gonna teach Zayn how to golf” Niall exclaimed, trying to save Zayn. Zayn mouthed a quick ‘thank you’ afterwards.

“What? No fair, you should have brought me and Haz, we love the carnival!” Louis whined. 

“Sorry Lou, next time. Management wants us to keep up the whole marriage thing anyways so it’s probably better you didn’t come this time around anyways” Zayn responded.

“They’re making you keep up the marriage? That’s even funnier! I can’t believe this! You know if it weren’t for you two being straight as a needle I’d think there’s something real between you two!” Louis half yelled and half laughed into the phone right before he hung up. 

“That fucking bastard said he’d keep his mouth shut” Zayn groaned as he shoved his phone back in his pocket. 

“What?” Niall asked.

“Luke. He’s the one who set all that shit up for me actually” 

“Really? I thought you had gotten one of the boys or something to do it for ya”

“Are you kidding? Do you know how much they would have teased us and all the suspicious glares we’d get from Louis! They’d actually think we’re serious and all” Zayn said the last part a little quieter but Niall still heard it loud and clear.

“Oh yeah” Niall forced a chuckle out and looked down towards his feet. He knows they’re joking around and all but for some reason he didn’t like that Zayn had actually admitted it. It felt as if his stomach dropped a bit. But Niall just passed it off as eating too much food earlier or maybe the fact that he was drinking again. In fact it reminded Niall that he was holding a bottle of whiskey still so he took a big gulp of it. He’s not sure if he can keep doing this sober. 

“Woah there Nialler, slow down! Don’t need you getting all drunk and marry some other man!” Zayn took the bottle from Niall and took a sip himself.

“Yeah well we’re getting divorced one way or another” Niall pouts. He wanted some more whiskey. Zayn suddenly frowned at the statement and didn’t say anything as he took some more sips from the bottle of whiskey. Niall’s not sure why he looks all butt hurt. Zayn was the one who called it all a joke first. 

They both went back to being all happy and joking around as more of the alcohol started to hit. They had finally made it to the carnival and went on a few rides. But they eventually realized that rides weren’t the best idea after consuming too much alcohol after Zayn threw up on the tilt a whirl. They decided to stick with carnival games and food instead. But that didn’t stop them from continuing to pass the whiskey bottle back and forth until it was empty. They were approaching the same level of drunk they had been last night. Niall’s not quite sure why he’s doing it to be honest. He doesn’t like to make a habit of being overly drunk more than one night in a row.

Both of them were too drunk to win any of the carnival games that were already rigged in the first place. So Niall tried to steal a giant stuffed Panda for Zayn. Unfortunately he was caught in the act. Niall grabbed the panda anyways and immediately sprinted out of the carnival with Zayn’s hand in his. He’s surprised they didn’t actually get caught by the security considering they may have stumbled and fallen a few times on the way out. When they finally made it back to the bungalow, they threw themselves on the sand, laughing and panting for air. 

“I can’t believe you stole a stuffed panda for me” Zayn slurred as he started petting the panda’s head, preceding to cuddle with it. 

“I can’t believe they noticed me! I’m Irish stealth!” Niall exclaimed

“I’m afraid you can’t be stealthy if you’re laughing the whole time” Zayn laughed and threw the panda at him.

“Shuddap. We still have to name him. I think we should name him Zaynie”

“Well I think we should name him Nialler”

“Nooo. I stole him, therefore I get to pick the name.”

“But you gave him to me so I should get to pick the name”

“No you can’t name him after me. It’d be weird” 

“Oh but it’s not weird if we name him after me? I’ll let you name him Zayne if you, uhmmmmm, if you get the name tattooed on your ass” Zayn giggled. 

“Deal” Niall smirked. He knows Zayn won’t remember tomorrow. Even if he did, Zayn probably wouldn’t actually make him. Zayn knows Niall isn’t the kind of person to get tattoos. 

“Seriously? I’m holding you to that Ni. In fact, first thing tomorrow, we’re going to the tattoo parlor!” Zayn exclaimed with the biggest grin Niall has ever seen. Niall almost feels bad with how happy Zayn gets about him agreeing to get a tattoo. 

“Yeah, yeah. Now let's check out the bungalow!” Niall tries to get up and immediately falls back down. He definitely shouldn’t have finished off that bottle of whiskey. He gets up slower this time, thankful that Zayn was having the same issue and didn’t notice his blunder. They both slowly make their way to the bungalow, arms around each other to use each other for balance. When they get inside the bungalow, their jaws drop. The whole room was filled with rose petals, candles, and chocolate covered fruit. The bed was once again heart shaped and there was a bottle of lube and a box of condoms sitting right in the center. 

“This was all Luke I swear” Zayn tries to explain, wide eyed. 

“It’s okay. But it would be a shame to waste it…” Niall smirks and Zayn smirks back. “Now feed me Zaynie!” 

“The panda can’t actually move silly” Zayn laughs as he pretends to move the arms of the stuffed panda.

“I mean you, you idiot” Niall laughs as Zayn goes quiet and blushes. 

“This is why I didn’t want you naming the bear after me” Zayn grumbles as he approaches a plate of chocolate covered strawberries. They spend the next little while giggling as they poorly feed each other the chocolate covered fruit until they are both full.

“Niall, oh my god, we’re still wearing our wedding suits.” Niall looked down at himself and then back at Zayn and realised they were indeed.

“Guess we should probably get out of these then, huh” Niall winked. He starts unbuttoning everything when a hand stops him.

“Lemme do it for you. We’re much too drunk to undress ourselves without help” Zayn whispers as he begins to slowly take off Niall’s, now stained, lavender suit. Soon enough, he’s in nothing but briefs and it’s his turn to take Zayn’s clothes off. They simply stare at each other for a few minutes, not saying anything. Niall can’t help but ogle at Zayn’s perfectly tanned body complemented with all of the beautiful tattoos. His eyes flicker back up to Zayn’s perfectly chiseled face and notice how much chocolate missed Zayn’s mouth.

“You’ve got chocolate all over your mouth. I’ll get it for you” Niall whispered as he slowly moves his head towards Zayn, staring at his chocolate stained lips. Niall can’t resist anymore before his lips land on Zayns and they’re full on snogging. Niall realizes chocolate can really do wonders for a kiss. It makes the kiss even sweeter. 

“You were right. It really would be a shame if we wasted what we were given” Zayn said, eyeing the box of condoms and lube that were pushed aside to the left side of the bed. 

“‘Course. Might as well” Niall brought his lips to Zayn’s tender neck as his other arm reached for the supplies. Niall sucked for a few seconds as Zayn let out a loud moan. Niall feels his dick stiffen more with each passing second. Before he knows it, he and Zayn are laying on top of eachother covered in sweat and cum, panting and feeling better than he ever has in his life. 

…

“Niall”

“Niallllll”

“Come on Ni wake uppppp”

Suddenly Niall felt something cold and wet move around in his ear.

“What the fuck!” Niall immediately shot up into a sitting position on the bed. He brought his finger up to his ear and touched the wet saliva stuck to his right ear. He turns his head to see Zayn laying next to him with an innocent look on his face. “Did you just lick my ear?”

“Depends, did ya like it?” Zayn asked with a hopeful face. 

“It scared the shit out of me”

“Then in that case, no” 

“Oh shuddap you twat” Niall laughed as he layed back down and rested his head on Zayn’s chest.

“No more resting Niall. I believe you owe me something” Niall can practically hear the smirk in Zayn’s face. 

“What are you talking about” Niall bit his lip. He knew exactly what Zayn was hinting at, but he had really hoped that Zayn wouldn’t remember.

“Don’t play dumb with me. You promised you’d get Zaynie tattooed on your ass”

“What? That’s not fair, it was a drunken promise!” Niall protests, waving Zayn off. 

“So was this whole marriage but here we are. You have to, Niall come onnnn. Otherwise I’m leaving you stranded here” 

“You wouldn’t dare” Niall’s mouth drops. He didn’t think Zayn would take this whole tattoo thing so serious.

“Oh, I would” Zayn grins. Niall wanted to keep protesting but he also remembered how happy Zayn had gotten last night when he originally agreed. He would do anything to see that smile again. 

“Ughhhh, I’ll only do it if you get Nialler tattooed on your ass too”

“Really? Deal!” Zayn’s grin grew infinitely wide as he jumped up and pulled Niall into a warm embrace. Niall can’t help but smile in return. He didn’t want to leave the hug. It made his whole body feel warm and tingly, but he could also feel their skin sticking together and Niall suddenly felt filthy.

“We should probably shower first,” Niall said as he slowly pulled away from the hug, already missing the warmth of Zayn’s body. Niall got up off the bed and groaned, feeling the pain shooting up his body.

“I can’t believe you're making me get a tattoo on my arse after I volunteered to bottom” Niall whimpered as he began to limp towards the bathroom.

Zayn grabbed his shoulder and wrapped his arm around with a slight groan. “You’re saying that is if round 2 didn’t happen” Zayn smiled and shook his head as they limped towards the bathroom together using each other for support. 

…

“Alright, you guys are all set” the gruff man with the longest beard Niall head over seen said as he put down the tattoo gun. Niall was surpised that the tattoo didn’t hurt nearly as much as he thought it would. It still hurt like shit, but he felt as though it was a good pain in a way? 

“Thanks” Zayn said as the two of them got up off the table and pulled their pants up all the way

“Wait! Can you take a picture of us?” Niall exclaimed. The man shot him a weird look. 

“I guess” Niall handed the tattoo artist his phone and then stood next to Zayn. They pulled their pants back down and faced their backs towards the camera. Niall turned his head to look at the camera and pointed finger guns at his butt. Zayn laughed but followed Niall with the same pose.

“You complained the whole time about me ‘forcing’ you to get a tattoo and now you're all excited to take a picture?” Zayn laughed while Niall took his phone back. Niall stuck his tongue out while he unlocked his phone to look at the picture. 

“I’m making this my new background” Niall grinned.

“It’s cute, but I prefer my current background” Zayn shrugged nonchalantly 

“What is it?” Niall frowned. He thought the picture they just took was funny. Zayn pulled out his phone and gave it to Niall. It was a picture of Niall running and grinning madly holding the stuffed panda bear he had just stolen. The carnival in the background was a complete blur of lights but Niall was somehow in perfect focus.

“You did not!” Niall practically shrieked. 

“You’ were too cute” Zayn smiled and flicked Niall in the nose. 

…

The rest of the weekend went by much faster than Niall would have liked. They had spent the rest of the day after getting tattooed relaxing and playing around at the beach. The day after, Niall kept his word and taught Zayn golf- well minigolf. But Zayn was surprisingly good and almost beat him. 

The only good thing about the weekend ending is that he’ll no longer keep getting shit hangovers from drinking too much. They had gotten drunk four nights in a row. Niall’s never done it that many nights in a row before. Part of him knows exactly why he did it every night but he doesn’t want to admit it himself. The only time Niall and Zayn would fully snog and touch each other was when they were drunk. When they were sober, the farthest they would go would be hugs and light kisses. Sometimes Niall would catch himself wanting to deepen the kiss with Zayn while he was sober but he always pushed those thoughts aside. He still doesn’t know to what extent the whole thing is just a joke or if it's real. He doesn’t really want to know either.

…

“Finally, you guys are back! Can’t believe you guys left us to answer all those stupid marriage questions by ourselves” Harry complained as he ran up to hug Niall and Zayn.

“You guys are lucky I’m an expert at lying” Louis chimed in. 

“Expert? None of your lies lined up! You told one interviewer they were going snowboarding in Florida! And then in the next interview you said they were climbing Mount Everest” Liam yelled from the couch. 

“At least I tried answering the questions. You guys just kept laughing or looking dumbfounded!” Louis groaned. 

“That reminds me! Zayn you have to show me your new tattoo!” Harry exclaimed, waggling his eyebrows. 

“What are you talking about?” Zayn asked, all color running dry off his face. Niall tried his best to hide his fear. The boys were bound to find out eventually but he wasn’t ready for it to happen yet. They’re gonna be pissed that he wasn’t there to see Niall get his first tattoo. 

“We saw that pic the paps took of you guys walking out the tattoo parlor. Unless Niall was the one who got a tattoo” Harry chuckled, playfulling hitting Niall. 

“Course, you guys know me, I’m always getting a new tattoo!” Niall nervously laughed along. He’s always been a shit liar but usually Harry can’t tell. 

“Now whaddya get Zayn? Did you finally get the tattoo of the bird you were talking about the other day?” 

“Alright, before you guys laugh at me, I only agreed at the time because I was drunk okay?” Zayn groaned as he pulled his pants down a bit to show that tattoo on his left buttcheek. 

The three other boys immediately burst into laughter.

“No way Nialler, how’d you get him to agree to this?” Louis screamed. 

“I told ya, nobody can’t resist my Irish charm” Niall smirked before slapping Zayn’s ass. 

“Cheeky” Harry laughed. 

“Maybe this whole dare was worth it for this!” Liam added. 

“Jokes on you Liam, cause this is my favorite tattoo yet!” Zayn grinned and pulled Niall in by the waist. 

“Sure it is. I know you guys are just playing this up to try and annoy me. I’m not falling for it anymore” Liam playfully rolled his eyes.

“I’m not lying, it really is my favorite” Zayn insisted, looking dead serious. Niall blushed at the thought. Could it really be Zayn’s favorite? Did he really mean that much to Zayn? Or was he really just saying it to annoy Liam? Liam just turned his back to look back at the tv and flipped Zayn off. 

“If it was your favorite then why would you only agree to it when you’re drunk” Louis said with a smug look on his face. Liam quickly flipped back around with a smirk.

“That’s a very good point Lou, care to explain Zayn?”

Zayn sighed, “Okay, you got me. I wasn’t actually drunk at all when I agreed. I was completely sober actually. Niall was the one who was drunk when he agreed.” 

“Yeah!” Niall chuckled, before he froze up a bit realizing what Zayn had really said. 

“You let Niall get drunk all by himself? And why would he have to agree when it’s your tattoo?” Harry asked. 

“Cause he’s a good husband!” Niall exclaimed as he kissed Zayn on the cheek. 

“Alright guys, it was funny at first, but you don’t have to keep playing up this marriage thing around us” Louis rolled his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair. 

“We’re not playing it up. Now if you’ll excuse us, Niall and I are going to unpack in our rooms” Zayn said as he grabbed Niall’s arm and began walking towards the stairs. 

“Don’t bother. We’re leaving first thing in the morning for the tour, remember?” Liam shouted, still chilling on the couch. They both ignored Liam and continued to walk up anyways. They went into Zayn’s room and shut the door. 

“Thanks a lot Zayn, you made me sound like an alcoholic bastard!” Niall yelled playfully. 

“At least I didn’t tell them what really happened. You have no idea how much I want to tell them” Zayn threw himself on the bed and Niall followed. 

“They’re gonna find out eventually” Niall sighed. “I don’t know how to break it to them. You know how often they bring up that they want to be there for my first tattoo” 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t really think of that” Zayn turned to face Niall with the saddest look Niall had ever seen. 

“Don’t be sad” Niall chuckled as he kissed Zayn’s forehead. “S’not your fault. I’m the one who agreed to it.”

“No, I practically forced you to” Zayn tucked his body into Nialls.

“No you didn’t. If I didn’t actually want to get that tattoo, I wouldn’t have gotten it. You know how stubborn I can be” Niall whispered as he ran his fingers through Zayn’s soft flat hair. 

“You mean you wanted the tattoo?” Zayn’s eyes lit up

“‘Course. Wouldn’t trade it for anything” Niall smiled. Zayn’s face grew into the similar grin he had earlier when Niall had originally agreed to the tattoo. “I love it when you do that”

“Do what?”

“Smile like you don’t have a care in the world.”

..,.

“ZAYN GET UP WE GOTTA GO! DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE THE FUCK NIALL IS” Liam screamed from the outside of Zayn’s door. Niall groaned and rubbed his eyes open. He had fallen asleep cuddled up to Zayn again. But this time he had no headache. Niall looked down at Zayn who was lying peacefully across Niall’s stomach. Zayn was looking right back at him with a soft smile. 

“Guess I should inform Liam that I’m not missing” Niall murmured. 

“You have a sexy morning voice”

“You say that every morning” Niall chuckled.

“Doesn’t mean it’s not true” Zayn propped himself up.

They packed up all the stuff they needed for the tour. Niall grabbed a bunch of Zayn’s clothes to put in his suitcase before he ran to his room to grab a few essentials he hadn’t brought on their honeymoon like his Irish flag and a few pictures of his family. He walked back over to Zayn before they walked down to the living room with their arms linked. Niall grinned when he saw that Zayn still hadn’t taken off the necklace he had given him a few days back.

“Niall, what the fuck! Where were you? I thought you went missing!” Liam yelled as they entered the living room. All three boys were already ready and appeared to just be waiting for them. 

“Sorry. Zayn and I were watching a movie in his room last night and I fell asleep during it” Niall lied, mostly feeling bad that they were keeping the boys waiting. 

“I told you he was probably in Zayn’s room Liam. Let’s just get out of here” Harry rolled his eyes pulling Louis along to the tour bus parked outside. Niall let out a sigh of relief realizing that Louis and Harry are always acting really close, so it shouldn’t be that weird if him and Zayn are too. 

“Your chariot awaits Mr. Malik” Niall said in a super posh english accent as he put his hand out for Zayn.

“Why thank you Mr. Horny” Zayn smirked as he grabbed Niall’s hand and they walked over to the tour bus. 

…

“So how’d Perrie react to all this?” Louis asked. They had stopped for lunch half way on their way to their first tour date.

Niall chokes on his food. How could he have forgotten about Perrie? This really is all just a joke, isn’t it? He puts down his burger and suddenly isn’t hungry anymore - something that doesn’t usually happen to Niall.

“Shit, I forgot about Perrie. I mean we only really went on like two dates. Was probably gonna call it off anyways” Zayn replied, scratching his head. He squeezed Niall’s thigh and shot him an apologetic look. Niall felt a little bit calmer now. But it shouldn’t bother him even if Zayn was still with Perrie, right? They’re only still married for publicity. 

“Looks like I made your husband jealous” Louis laughed. 

“Am not! Just not hungry anymore s’all” Niall shrugged.

“Niall? Not hungry? I don’t believe it. You really are jealous!” Harry exclaims. He nudged Niall in the arm and smirked at Louis. 

“Oh, stop teasing him. We ate a lot before we left my room this morning. I’m not really hungry either” Zayn said and pushed his food away from him.

“Then why was Niall begging us to stop for food earlier” Louis raised his brow with a smirk

“I was bored,” Niall shrugged. “I can just bring the rest of my burger with me for later anyways”  
The three boys gave him an odd look but didn’t say anything and continued eating. 

…

When they arrived at their concert, they were a few hours early so they got to dick around a bit first. Zayn was trying to teach Niall how to use his longboard. It went pretty well until Louis purposely crashed into them on his skateboard. Afterwards, they decided to go chill out in the dressing room. They still had an hour or so before they were supposed to get ready so nobody was there. Niall threw himself onto the couch with a groan. 

“Move over Niall” Zayn said, poking Niall in the cheek.

“No” Niall was comfy where he was.

“Fine” Zayn shrugged as he threw himself on top of Niall so that they was laying right on top of Niall.

“You twat” Niall groaned with a soft smile and combed his fingers through Zayn’s soft raven hair.

“You’re the one who wouldn’t move so you’re the twat” Zayn lightly chuckled as he circles his fingers on Niall’s chest. 

“Yeah but I’m your twat. So that makes you a twat too” Niall whispered. He began stroking Zayn’s god like face. He wanted nothing more than to press his lips against Zayn. But he wasn’t sure if it would be weird or not. Most times they made out and things were when they were intoxicated. He started at Zayn’s soft lips for what felt like an eternity. 

“Suppose you’re right. Guess we’re both twats” Zayn said, licking his lips and flickering his eyes between Niall’s eyes and mouth as if he was taunting Niall. Niall couldn’t handle it anymore. He flipped them and smashed his lips against Zayn’s. Zayn immediately responded with a moan. If Niall wasn’t heavily making out with Zayn he would’ve broken out into a large grin knowing he could make Zayn moan that easily. They ripped off each other's shirts and continued kissing all across their bodies. Zayn flipped them back over and pressed a juicy love bite onto Niall’s neck. Niall’s pale complexion made the lovebite stand out even more. Niall lost track of time. He can’t tell if they just started making out if they’ve been doing it for hours. But Niall doesn’t care enough to figure it out. All he knew is that he wanted more of Zayn’s lips. Unfortunately, their bliss was interrupted with a loud laugh from down the hall, definitely Lou. They both froze and checked the time. It was 5 mins till they were supposed to get ready. They both quickly sat up and threw their shirts back on and flipped the tv on just as the three boys entered along with a few stylists. Niall was hoping they could get off unnoticed but judging by Louis’s smirk, that wasn’t going to happen

“Why’d you switch shirts?” Louis snickered. Niall looked down and realized he was indeed wearing Zayn’s “Cool Kids Don’t Dance” shirt and Zayn was wearing his “Crazy Mofos” shirt. 

“Could ask the same about you two” Zayn responded casually with a slight smirk. Niall looked back up and realized that Harry and Louis also had switched shirts. Harry turned beat red and looked down at his feet. It was always so cute how embarrassed he got when we mentioned his relationship with Lou. 

“But you can’t say the same about that fat love bite on Niall’s neck” Louis responded, still smirking. Harry looked back up and gasped when he looked at Niall's neck. Liam was just eyeing him suspiciously. Niall mentally groaned. Why did Zayn have to do it somewhere visible? He’ll have to get Zayn back later.

“Lou you were the one who thought it would be funny to crash into us with a skateboard and injure me. Flew me to the fuckin’ floor, cour’se I”ll get a bruise” Nialled rolled his eyes, he knew it was a shit excuse but he went with it anyways. “But even if it was a love bite, Zayn is my husband after all” Niall winked and kissed Zayn on the cheek. Zayn’s cheeks grew slightly red after the kiss and Niall chuckled. Even after their deep makeout session, he still got flushed over a kiss on the cheek.

“Fake husband” Harry interjected

“Fake? He’s not my fake husband, I’ve got the certificate to prove it!” Zayn reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded up laminated copy of their marriage certificate. 

“Awww, you carry it around with you?” Niall cooed. “Best husband ever”

“More like weird” Liam waved his hand in disgust. 

“Alright, that’s enough boys, it’s time to get ready for the concert” Lou, their hairstylist, interrupted. 

…

Once the concert started, they opened up with Teenage Dirtbag. Niall liked this song and thoroughly enjoyed his singing parts. But he did also wonder why he would often get the slightly conspicuous lines. 

For this concert, Simon told them they’d have to play up their marriage a lot since this was their first performance since the wedding. He looked out into the crowd and noticed a lot of signs about it. They said things like “WE LOVE ZIALL” and “NIALL AND ZAYN PLEASE KISS.” There were a few mean posters criticizing their marriage, but the majority of them were in support. It made Niall’s heart flutter. 

Niall and Zayn remained next to each other for virtually the entire concert. They made sure to dance and touch each other a lot and threw in plenty of cheek kisses. However, Niall probably would have acted the same whether or not Simon had told them to play it up. They also cracked a few jokes about it to the audience and threw in a few light hearted “i love yous.” They didn’t actually mean it obviously, but the words did make Niall’s stomach feel funny nevertheless. For the end of the show, they made sure to give the audience a juicy kiss. But Niall can’t say he didn’t want it. The whole crowd went extra crazy for the kiss. 

After the concert, they were all led back to the tour bus. They were heading straight to the next town for their concert tomorrow night. Niall hated when they had back to back concerts. He preferred when they got to spend the night at the hotel and even look around the city a bit. He hated the sleeping bunks the most. They were a bit small for his liking and it made him feel a bit claustrophobic. More often than not, he would go sleep on the couch in the back or just take the floor when it got to be too much. 

Just as Niall was about to step into the bus, Harry pulled him to the side. 

“What’s up Haz” Niall asked. Him and Harry were always pretty close.

“I just wanted to know. Do you like, actually like Zayn?” Harry asked, looking all around to make sure nobody was listening.

“‘Course I like Zayn” Niall responded. He knew exactly what Harry was implying but he honestly didn’t want to answer it. While he was perfectly fine lying to himself, he didn’t like lying to Harry. Niall and Harry were always honest with each other. Niall was the first person Harry went to about his feelings for Louis. Part of Niall knew that he was falling for Zayn more and more everyday but the other part of him tried his best to ignore it. He had never expected his relationship to go anywhere past being brothers. He always knew that he swung both ways, but he had never actually felt anything towards his bandmates before. Plus, he had no idea what his relationship with Zayn was. Was all of this just temporary until they got divorced? Or did Zayn actually like him? 

“No Niall, like, do you like him” Harry said in a serious hush tone.

“Um. Idunno. I think I might” Niall whispered, refusing to look up at Harry. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t Nialler, don’t worry. Thanks for being honest with me” Harry pulled Niall into a hug. “How does he feel about you?”

“I have no idea to be honest. I’ve been too afraid to ask. Don’t want to ruin things” Niall said, squeezing onto Harry tighter.

“I can try and ask him if you want. I won’t say anything about what you told me to him” Harry offered, patting Niall’s shoulder. 

“Could you?” Niall asked sheepishly. He knows it’s probably the cowards way of doing it but he doesn’t know if he’d be able to face the rejection himself. 

“Detective Styles is on the case!” Harry exclaimed, pulling out of the hug and pretending to look all around with a fake magnifying glass. “Though, I’m pretty sure he feels something for you” Harry winked.

“Thanks Haz” Niall chuckled. He pulled his friend back to the bus. He wanted to ask Harry about how his relationship with Louis was going but he knew that if they didn’t get on the bus soon, Paul would throw them in.

Once they climbed into the bus, Zayn and Louis immediately jumped up. 

“What were you guys doing out there?” Louis asked.

“Just talking” Niall shrugged. 

“Talking about what?” Zayn asked. “It looked more like hugging to me” Zayn muttered the latter part quietly. Niall smirked. Was Zayn jealous? Harry burst out laughing.

“Chill out detectives. Niall’s all yours Zayn. It was nothing more than a friendly hug, like always.” Harry chuckled as he pushed Niall towards Zayn with a wink.

“And you! Are you really having doubts after what we did before the show” Harry waggled his eyebrows at Louis. 

“Shut up harry” Louis said in a hush town with faint blush across his cheeks. Niall chuckled and pulled Zayn to the back room of the bus and onto the couch. 

“No Niall, I’m tired” Zayn rubbed his eyes.

“Me too. But I hate sleeping in the bunks, they make me claustrophobic” Niall pouted. 

“So you want me to sleep with you on this small couch?” Zayn raised his eyebrow. 

“Maybe..” Niall said using his puppy eyes and went to touch Zayn’s shamrock pendant. 

“Stopp, you know I can’t say no to that face” Zayn groaned.

“Then say yes” Niall said, deeping his puppy dog face.

“Fine” Zayn sighed, but Niall could see a faint smile on his lips. Niall jumped up in excitement and hugged Zayn. He then placed a quick kiss on his lips before pulling out of the hug. 

“You’re the best!” Niall grinned as he laid down on the couch. 

“What can I say” Zayn smiled and turned off the lights before he laid down next to the blonde boy. He put himself behind Niall so that he could hold him as the big spoon. Despite the limited space, Niall fell asleep effortlessly.

…

When Zayn woke up, he smiled at the cute blonde boy pressed to his chest. He surprisingly slept well on the small couch. But Zayn always slept better with Niall. Zayn’s thoughts were quickly interrupted when he realized he was painfully hard. He groaned. He didn’t want to wake up Niall by getting up but he wasn’t sure how long he’d be able to lay there. As Zayn debated, he suddenly felt Niall’s bum grind up against his hard. 

“You fucking tease!” Zayn yelped. Niall simply chuckled and groggily turned around to face Zayn. Next thing Zayn knew, Niall’s hand was down his pants. Zayn came embarrassingly fast but he also felt much better. He was about to lay there in bliss with the lad when he noticed Niall was having a similar problem. Zayn didn’t hesitate to return the favor and Niall didn’t take much longer to release. Zayn felt a little disgusted with the fact that they had both come in the back of the bus on the communal couch in their own pants but Zayn felt much too good to really care. They both laid there in peace for a little while longer until they decided that they should probably at least change their underwear.

Shortly after, they arrived at the hotel in Glasgow that they were staying at for two nights. Zayn was relieved that they wouldn’t have to spend another night in the tour bus. He still had a decent night with Niall but hotels were always much more relaxing. 

“Room with me?” Zayn asked Niall as they walked towards the elevators of the hotel.

“No”

“What?” Zayn frowned. Why wouldn’t Niall want to room with him? 

“I’m just kidding Zayn, I was planning on rooming with you even if you hadn’t asked” Niall burst out laughing. “Shoulda seen the look on your face. Swear you were close to tears”

“Shut up Ni. I was not” Zayn rolled his eyes. But he couldn’t help but feel relieved that Niall was joking. They had only been married for about a week but Zayn doesn't know if he’d be able to sleep without Niall. He’d always had trouble falling asleep, especially on tours, but Niall was able to cure that. He was actually relieved that Niall had asked him to sleep on the small tour bus couch last night. He always got the shittiest sleep on the tour bus.

…

The concert tonight went smoothly. Zayn and Niall had once again fooled around alot and were extra affectionate on stage. Zayn wasn’t usually a big fan of pda but he loved doing it with Niall. He was showing the whole world Niall was his. 

After the concert, Harry randomly pulled him to the side away from everyone. 

“You good Harry?” Zayn asked. 

“I was just wondering like, I know you guys are married for publicity and all still, but do you like actually like Niall like that?” Harry asked. 

Zayn gulped. He had always somewhat liked the blonde lad but he didn’t realize the extent of his feelings until the marriage. While Zayn was probably closer to Louis than Niall at first, his friendship with Niall had been a lot more cuddly than any other friendship he’s had. At first, Zayn thought it was just a part of Niall’s personality since he seemed to love hugging the rest of the boys too. But Zayn noticed after a while that Niall definitely was much more touchy with him. And Zayn would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t like the extra touching. It sort of became their thing. On stage, they would often do things like carrying each other or embracing each other on stage. They would also do this cute thing sometimes where they would poke each other three times across their abdomens. On time, actually about two and a half weeks ago, Niall licked Zayn’s finger on stage. Zayn pretended to be grossed out but he actually thought it was really cute. That’s when he first started to realized that maybe his feelings for Niall were beyond just friends. It kind of freaked him out a bit a frist. Even in the slight chance that Niall would like him back, he knew how strained Louis and Harry’s relationship was and he didn’t want to ruin his friendship with Niall, so he just brushed his feelings aside and told himself that it was just a friend crush and nothing more. However, Liam apparently had different plans when he decided to dare him and Niall to get married. He can’t blame Liam though, nobody knew about his stupid crush. Everyone still thought he was with Perrie, even though Zayn practically ghosted her after the first few dates. He felt a little bad about it but they just didn’t click in Zayn’s mind. The main problem was that Perrie’s fake blonde hair and blue eyes always reminded him of Niall. And while him and Niall weren’t together or anything, he almost felt like he was betraying Niall by going on those dates. But everyone seemed to have forgotten about Perrie during the dare. While Zayn was wasted that night, the dare gave him a near heart attack. But Niall seemed to go along with it and since Zayn didn’t know what else to do, he decided to play along as well. He knew he was gone for the second he saw Niall walk into the chapel. He’s still not sure if Niall was even real that night. He was wearing this beautiful lavender suit that happened to compliment his skin perfectly. Niall’s hair was swooped to the side as opposed to his normal quiff. He looked handsome but also really cute at the same time. Zayn had fallen extra hard that night, and the kissing and the sex defintiley didn’t help. The next morning when he woke up, he thought it was all a dream until he realized he was laying curled up to Niall. He once again almost died of a heart attack. He remembered pretty much everything from the previous night and he knew he enjoyed it. But he was petrified of Niall’s reaction. Would he remember? Would he freak out? He was super relieved when Niall seemed okay with it and actually kept playing along, but it left Zayn super confused about what his relationship with Niall was. He knows he hasn’t talked to Niall about it yet, but he’s pretty sure Niall at least somewhat likes him after Zayn arranged the whole honeymoon thing. Niall had even gotten a tattoo for him. Plus, Zayn had been careful ever since the honeymoon. He’s tried to not push Niall in case he really did think it was just a joke still. But Niall was the one who initiated their first sober makeout sessions and handjobs, so that means Niall likes him back right? However, he’s not entirely sure yet and he doesn't want to tell anyone in case Niall isn’t comfortable telling people yet. So he decided he would just continue playing it off.

“Helloooo, Earth to Zayn” Harry obnoxiously waved in front of Zayn’s face. 

“Sorry, I’m a little out of it, what did you say?” Zayn asked with a timid smile. He of course knew exactly what Harry asked but he was hoping maybe Harry would drop it or something. 

“I asked if you like actually like Niall. As more than just mates?”

“Course I do, we’re married Harry” Zayn chuckled, trying to avoid the real question.

“Yes but is it really just a joke still or do you actually like eachother?” Zayn’s smile quivered a bit. He could try and play it off again but he knew Harry would keep asking until he gave a real answer. And he didn’t want to tell Harry anything until he confirmed stuff with Niall yet.

“Nah, we’re just best mates having a laugh” Zayn grinned. He felt a little bad lying to Harry. They were always very close, but his loyalty to Niall came first. 

“Are you sure? You guys seem awfully close. Like closer than Louis and I. And don’t get me started on the weird noises I heard from the back of the bus this morning”

“Yeah, I’m not sure what you heard but we’re just fooling around as friends, nothing to worry about Haz” Zayn replied as he patted Harry on the back.

“If you say so. I think you should tone it down a bit then. I mean, you know Niall’s pretty sensitive. I don’t want him getting hurt or anything” Harry said nervously, looking away from Zayn’s gaze.

“Don’t worry, Niall won’t get hurt. He feels the same”

“Yeah...” Harry looked back up with a shy smile and patted Zayn on the back before he ran off. Zayn was a little confused. He didn’t understand what all that was about. But Harry could often act odd so he shrugged it off and headed towards the van. Zayn climbed into the van but he noticed that Harry and Niall were talking alone outside again. They went into a hug again like last night and Zayn felt a pang of jealousy. He knew they were best mates and always hugged but he still wished it were him that were hugging Niall, not Harry. Zayn groaned to himself. He had really fallen deep. He decided he’d talk to Niall about it proper tonight. It was long overdue. 

“I’m starting to think you’re trying to steal my husband” Zayn joked as Harry climbed into the van. 

“Yeah” Harry chuckled nervously as he sat in front of Zayn. Zayn raised his brow in confusion. That was weird. He had expected Harry to respond like last night and assure Zayn that Niall was his. Soon after, Niall climbed in but his usual smile and glint was gone. His eyes were red, like he was going to cry. 

“Ni, are you okay?” Zayn asked, super concerned for the blonde boy.

“I’m fine” Niall responded in a hard but shaky tone as he sat down next to Harry instead of Zayn.

“Are you su-”

“He’s fine” Harry turned around, giving him a stern look. 

Zayn left it alone for the time being but he was mentally freaking out. What was wrong with Niall? Why wouldn’t he tell him? He decided he would ask him once they got to his hotel room. The ride back to the hotel felt like the longest time of his life.

Once all the boys got to their floor of the hotel, Zayn stopped in front of his room to unlock it, but Niall continued walking past.

“Niall, where are you going?” Zayn asked.

“M sleeping with Harry tonight” Niall turned around, but refused to look Zayn in the eye. 

“What? Why? I thought you said you were sleeping with me tonight?” Zayn panicked.

“I- I just need some time to myself” Niall murmured, still refusing to look up.

“But you’re going Harry? Ni, did I do something wrong?” Zayn put his hand on Niall’s chin and lifted it to look Niall in the eyes but Niall quickly snapped away. 

“No, it's not you, it’s- it’s me okay?” Niall quickly sprinted off, leaving Zayn by himself in front of his room. Zayn felt like he was going to cry. He didn’t believe that “it's not you, it’s be” bullshit. Anytime someone says that, it's a complete lie. Zayn had obviously done something to upset Niall but he didn’t know what. 

Zayn tried to go to sleep, but all his thoughts and worries were running through his mind. He also missed Niall’s warm and comfortable body. Their bodies always fit together perfectly and helped Zayn fall asleep without a problem. But now, Zayn was just left with all his thoughts. Every possibility of what could have happened was running through his head. He didn’t get a wink of sleep that night, and a small puddle formed on his pillow from his tears. 

In the morning, Zayn was exhausted. The boys usually get breakfast in the morning together but Zayn didn’t know if he wanted to. He wasn’t hungry anyways. Food was the last thing on his mind. All he wanted was to talk to Niall privately and figure out where he went wrong. He decided he’d go so that he could try and get a hold of Niall afterwards. 

When they all met up for breakfast in the lobby, Niall looked just as shitty as Zayn did. It looked like he had also cried half the night. However, Niall was covering his bird's nest hair with a cap, something Zayn had wished he remembered to do. The breakfast was pretty awkward. Only Louis and Liam had acted somewhat normal, but they definitely noticed the tension. Fortunately, they didn’t say anything. Niall would occasionally talk and throw in a few, obviously fake, smiles, but he didn’t touch his food at all. Harry also acted somewhat normal but he kept shooting concerned looks at Niall. Zayn, however, didn’t say a word unless directly spoken to. He didn’t have anything he wanted to say. He was only there to talk to Niall after. He didn’t even pretend he was going to eat like Niall had. He just sat there with a bottle of water.

Zayn was relieved that the breakfast was over. He got up, hoping to ask Niall to wait a second, but Niall was nowhere to be seen. He ran out the lobby hoping he would see Niall leaving but he was met with an empty corridor. Zayn collapsed and sat up against the wall, running his hands through his hair over and over again. What could he have done to Niall? He has to find out but clearly Niall is avoiding him. 

“Mate are you okay?” A voice interrupted his thoughts. Zayn looked over and saw Liam sit down next to him with a worried expression. Zayn simply shrugged at him. He wasn’t okay but he didn’t necessarily want to say it outloud. 

“Did something happen between you and Niall? You both seemed extra tense during breakfast” 

“I guess. I don’t really know what happened though. Niall just suddenly started avoiding me out of nowhere. Said he needed space or something” Zayn sighed. 

“Oh. I mean I can try to ask him for you or something but maybe he really does just need some space. You guys have been glued at the hip ever since the marriage. Maybe he’s getting bored of the act and wants some time to himself” Liam said, patting Zayn on the shoulder. 

“You really think he could be getting bored of the marriage?” Zayn asked, picking his head up. He hadn’t thought of that. He thought the both of them were enjoying it all, but maybe Niall wasn’t? Had Zayn been reading things wrong this whole time? Was Niall maybe just playing along this whole time?

“I’m not Niall so I wouldn’t know for sure but it's very possible. I know you’re only still married for publicity and that you’re both straight and all but you guys really have been acting like a real married couple all week, even when you’re not in public and don’t have to. Maybe it just got to be too much for Niall. I’m sure he’ll be back to normal soon, you know Niall never stays down for long”

“I’m not straight,” Zayn muttered.

“What was that?” Liam asked.

“I said I’m not straight” Zayn spat as he stood up.

“What?” Liam looked at him in shock. “I mean that’s fine, really, but does that mean - you and Niall-” Liam questioned 

“Look, it doesn’t matter because I clearly misread things. I need some time alone” Zayn said as he ran off back to his room. 

He locked himself back in his room and threw himself back on the bed in tears. He can’t believe he really thought that Niall could have liked him back. It really was just all a joke. And now Niall probably hates him. Niall’s probably not even gay. Niall always told the media he was straight but Zayn had questioned it after their threesome with Justin Beiber about a few month ago. They had all called it an “experiment that didn’t mean anything.” And none of them have acknowledged what had happened since. 

Zayn would have continued sulking in his room for the rest of the day if Paul hadn’t dragged him out of his room. It’s not even an exaggeration, he literally had to be dragged out of his room. The last thing Zayn wanted to do was perform for their concert. He wanted to avoid Niall at all costs, maybe even move away and live by himself on an excluded island so he would never have to talk to anyone ever again.

However, Zayn’s plan to avoid Niall backfired completely. Pual had forced the two together alone in the dressing room couch to talk to them the second they arrived at the venue.

“Listen, I don’t know what’s up with you two” Paul rambled on. “But you guys have to leave it off the stage tonight. They’re actually planning on filming parts to use for the documentary. Simon wants you guys to keep playing up the marriage, especially for this show” 

“Yeah, of course” Niall smiled. Zayn almost dropped his jaw in shock. What the fuck was Niall doing? He had assumed Niall would put up a fight or something. Zayn wanted to strangle Niall for pretending it’s all good. As much as Zayn wants to continue kissing Niall, he can’t do it now, knowing that Niall doesn’t actually like it.

“Great” Paul smiled back and left the room, leaving just Niall and Zayn alone. Zayn turned to look at Niall. Despite Niall’s previous smile, Niall looked anything but happy. Zayn’s not sure he’s ever seen Niall look this messy and tired. Did Zayn really mess up Niall that bad with this fake relationship? Why wouldn't Niall just tell him earlier he thought it was going too far? He can’t beleive he was stupid enough to think Niall was enjoying it. Zayn wanted to cry right then and there but he didn’t want to break down in front of Niall. Zayn would’ve left the room if he could but Zayn’s body ached and he had no motivation to move. So he just sat there, staring at the wall and wondering if his life could get any worse. Niall appeared to have the same agenda, as he just slide to the far side of the couch and idly played with his fingers. Zayn considered breaking the silence multiple times, but he was at a loss for words. He had no clue what he should say. He wanted to apologize for going too far with everything. But he also wanted to lash out at Niall for leading him on. And a small part of him wanted to ask for his side of what was really happening. Liam was often rubbish at picking up on context clues so he wanted to believe that maybe Liam was wrong. Zayn couldn’t think of any other logical reason though. So Zayn just bit back on his tongue, hoping that maybe Niall would break the silence. 

Niall did break the silence, but a mere 30 minutes later, out of nowhere. 

“Listen, I’m sorry for ignoring you, I just need time to think about everything” Niall started. He spoke super quiet, like he was afraid, and refused to look up from his lap. Despite how quiet he was speaking, he voice sounded somewhat rough, like he hadn’t spoken in a while. “I’ll continue playing along at the concert tonight since we technically have to, but after I’m just going to room by myself for the night”

“Okay” Zayn said. He didn’t really know what else he was supposed to say. “Can I just ask one thing?” 

“Um, sure”

“Why now?”

“I- what?” Niall finally looked up from his lap to look at Zayn. But he still refrained from any eyecontact. 

“Why did you stop now?” Zayn asked strained, staring intently at the nervous blonde.

“I- I just never realized your real intentions until now. I misread things I suppose” Niall said, looking back down at himself. 

“I thought it was obvious,” Zayn whispered, eyes brimming with tears. Zayn thought it was painstakingly obvious that his intentions were to be more than just friends at this point. How could Niall have thought that all their kisses, talks, touches, and dates were all just things friends did? Zayn gets that it all started off from a joke, but he thought it was obviously no longer a joke ever since their night at the carnival.

“Not me me” Niall choked as he got up and left the room, trying to cover his tears with his shirt. Zayn was super confused. Why was Niall the one crying? If anyone should be crying, it should be Zayn. He was the one in love, not Niall. Zayn tried his hardest not to cry himself, but once Niall left the room, he let the waterworks flow. His chest felt like it had been thrown into the pit of one his own concerts and been stepped on by a million different girls. His lungs were breathing short and he swore he was going to die from a lack of oxygen.

By the time the rest of the boys and the crew got back into the dressing room, Zayn had stopped crying. But he didn’t bother drying his face or making himself look even the slightest presentable. It took his stylist at least an extra 20 minutes longer than usual to get him ready. The worst part was how Harry wouldn’t stop shooting daggers with his eyes the whole time he got ready. He didn’t understand what the fuck Harry’s problem was. At this rate, he’s going to make the whole band hate him and kick him out or something. 

The concert was even worse than Zayn had predicted. The crowd was extra loud and big. Zayn had to do a bunch of songs that involve a lot of high notes but he was feeling like shit and didn’t want to. He only did the high notes that were more crucial to the song and hoped management wouldn’t say anything to him. He also skipped out on a few choruses here and there. It’s not like his voice could be missed that much in some of the choruses where he’s just harmonizing a bit. Despite Pual warning them that they were going to be recorded here for the documentary, he could tell that this was definitely one of their lousier performances as a whole band. Liam and Louis were really the only ones really into it. Harry continued glaring at Zayn during the concert. It pissed Zayn off. He had no clue what it was for and he just wanted to slap the glare of his face. Harry also adamantly avoided him throughout it. Even Niall was interacting with Zayn more, but he supposes thats just because Niall had to. Zayn could tell that Niall was trying his best to seem like his normal hyperself on stage, but Zayn could see right through it. None of Niall’s jumps or dances were as energetic as usual. His singing was more timid, which was weird because Niall had always seemed somewhat confident in his voice. Their “marriage” interactions were also just awkward. They did a few silly things like hug and a few kisses on the cheeks, but nothing much. After one of Zayn’s high notes, Niall screamed into the mic “that’s my husband.” It annoyed Zayn more than anything because Zayn knew that that particular high note was shit. He didn’t quite hit the notes like he was supposed to and his voice trembled in the end. Although most of his high notes didn’t quite sound stellar by any means so he didn’t blame Niall.

Zayn was so relieved when the concert finally ended. He wanted to collapse on his bed and never get up again. That's exactly what he planned on doing until he unfortunately woke up the next morning. His attempts at sleeping were futile anyways; he still couldn’t sleep with Niall on his mine. He was only able to get about an hour of sleep in total. He mostly just moped in bed praying he could slip into sleep and forget. He had been clutching onto Zaynie, the stuffed panda Niall stole for him, all night as well. He couldn’t tell if it made everything better or worse. But the panda smelled like Niall and that was enough for Zayn at the time. He continued to just mope around his hotel room well into the afternoon. He decided to skip out on breakfast and lunch with the boys. He still wasn’t hungry anyways. Niall is what motivated him to eat most days in general. Zayn would often forget to eat and get too caught up in other things but Niall would always make sure Zayn had gotten something in his system.

However, at about 1pm, Louis burst into his room.

“Zayn I need you to fix whatever shit happened between you and Niall. Harry’s been glued to Niall trying to make him feel better and has no time for me anymore. We have a strict sex schedule Zayn, you can’t just interput that, a man has needs!” Louis yelled as he stormed further into his room. 

“I didn’t need to know that Lou. But trust me, if I could get Niall to like me again, I would. Now get out of my room” Zayn spat back, refusing to get up from the bed to properly look at Louis.

“No! Listen, I don’t know what the fuck happened but there’e clearly some miscommunication happening here. Both you and Niall look like you haven’t done a single thing but cry for the past two days straight! Clearly there’s some unfucking settled shit you guys have to so-”

“Louis, what the fuck! I told you to leave it!” Harry’s voice bellowed as he joined Louis on the other side of Zayn’s hotel room. Zayn had wanted to interrupt Louis to say he hadn’t been crying for the past 2 days but Harry beat him to it. He would be lying if he said it anyways and Louis would know.

“No Harry, I tried to let things happen your way but it clearly isn’t working so it’s time to take things the Tommo way!”

“Can you both just get the fuck out of my room and leave me in peace!” Zayn yelled, anger flowing through his veins. He just wanted to be by himself. Two sexually frustrated men in his room yelling at each other is the last thing Zayn wanted. 

“You don’t have a right to be angry!” Harry screamed back. 

“I’ve just had my heart fucking stampeded over, while you guys have some petty argument about not having enough sex? I have every right to be angry!” Zayn snapped, and finally pushed his body off the bed to look at the two assholes standing in his room. 

“You’ve had your heart crushed? Yeah, that’s real sweet coming from the one who just broke Niall’s heart!

“Why the fuck would Niall’s heart be broken? He’s not the one who fell hard face first into cement!”

“What the fuck are you talking about? He was in fucking love with you Zayn and you just led him on!” Harry yelled back.

“What are you talking about? Niall led me on!” 

“Both of you shut up! I told you guys this was clearly some big ass miscommunication problem!” Louis interrupted, pushing Harry away from Zayn before the argument escalated even more.

“That’s not my damn fault. Niall’s the one who straight up stopped talking to me after the Glasgow concert and didn’t even have the decency to tell me why!” Zayn holdered. Suddenly, all the memories from that night flashed back through his head and made him even more pissed off at Harry. “In fact, I’m pretty sure he was fine until I saw you talk to him outside of the tourbus. What the fuck did you talk to him about?” Zayn snarled. To be fair, he was probably taking too much of his anger out on Harry at the moment but Zayn didn’t care. Harry had started it. 

“I just told him what you told me after the concert!” Harry screamed right back.

“What?” Zayn thought back to their conversation after the concert. Zayn’s face fell when he remembered what it was about. “What?? Why would you tell him that?” Zayn’s froze. It finally hit him as to what happened. Niall wasn’t avoiding Zayn because he didn’t love Zayn back. He was avoiding Zayn because he loved Zayn and didn’t think Zayn loved him back. 

“It’s what you told me! And I knew Niall was falling hard, I didn’t want him to get even more hurt!” Harry explained, raising his arms up in defence. 

“Harry, don’t you get it! I’m in fucking love with Niall! I just didn’t tell you because I wanted to talk to him about it before I told anyone else!” Zayn practically screamed at the top of his lungs.

“What? Shit, I um-” Harry’s face softened, eyebrows raising in fear.

“I thought this was all because Niall was freaked out that I loved him and he just wanted to be mates! I have to find Niall” Zayn got up and sprinted out of the room before Harry or Louis could properly respond. But Zayn’s pretty sure he heard Louis call them both idiots on the way out. Zayn decided to check Harry’s room first. He ran in but noticed the door was open and the room was empty. He decided he’d check the other two boy’s rooms before he went searching somewhere else. Louis’s room was also empty so he sprinted over to Liam’s. The door was cracked opened, and as Zayn was about to burst in, he heard whispering. Zayn leaned his head against the window and listened in.

“Look, I don’t know the whole story, but I’m with Louis. I know what he told Harry but I talked to him the other day and he seemed pretty upset about the whole thing.” It was a caring voice, clearly identifiable as Liam’s.

“Wha’d he say?” Despite the situation, Zayn grinned at the thick Irish accent that boomed into the room. Some things Niall would say had a particularly strong accent and it always made Zayn smile for whatever reason.

“He didn’t say much before he ran off but he said he wasn’t straight and that he misread things and needed time alone I think” Zayn’s a little glad Liam told Niall this. But he’s also got to have a real talk with the boys about things he tells them in confidentiality. 

“I guess I should at least talk to him,” Niall sighed. Zayn lit up as he heard this. He debated whether or not he should go in now and pretend he wasn't listening, but he heard more talking and continued to listen instead. 

“Good, lets go find him now” 

“What? No, I’m not ready yet” 

“But Niall, the sooner the better. Besides, we’ve got another concert tonight and I don’t want it to be all tense like last time” Zayn couldn’t wait any longer and decided to knock on the door as if it wasn’t open already. A few seconds later, Liam came to the door with a grin.

“Zayn! We were just talking about” Liam exclaimed as he opened the door all the way. Zayn looked into the room to see a startled Niall, but at least he didn’t look scared to see Zayn like previously.

“Can I talk to Niall? In private?” Zayn asked, eyes flickering from Liam to Niall.

“Yes, of course! I’ll be in Louis’s!” Liam grinned as left and pushed Zayn into the room with just Niall.

“Niall” Zayn choked out. He had about a million things he wanted to say but it all got stuck in the back of his throat. Zayn wanted to punch himself at his own stupidity and anxiety.

“Hi Zayn'' Niall whispered, looking up to meet Zayn’s eyes with a small but clearly fake smile. 

“Um, Niall, look, I um, I love you” Zayn cried out, once again choking on his own words. Zayn once again wanted to slap himself. This is really the first thing he said when he finally got to talk to Niall? He had felt somewhat prepared to speak to Niall after he heard Niall conversation with Liam. But now that he’s face to face with Niall, it’s like he’s forgotten how to speak.

“I- what?” Niall looked at him with a confused face. 

“Shit, I, that’s not what I meant. Well not I don’t love you. I really do, but that’s not what I meant to say. Fuck, I. Is it too soon to say that. Shit, I mean um fuck well, I-” Zayn groaned and buried his face into his hands

“Zayn” Niall chuckled and patted the bed next to him “Why don’t you sit and calm down for a second”

“Um, okay” Zayn nervously walked over to the bed and sat next to Niall, making sure to leave some space between them. Niall just stared at him as if he was waiting for Zayn to speak. The slight hopeful glint has returned to Niall’s eyes. While Niall looks like he hasn’t slept or even showered in days, he looked surprisingly calm. Zayn wished he could be that calm. But he can’t help but feel like he is stuck in open water, on the verge of drowning. Zayn took a deep breath and tried to pour everything out again.

“Louis is right I think. There has been a miscommunication I suppose. I know what Harry told you, but it was all a lie. I only told Harry we were just fooling around as mates because I wanted to talk to you first. I was actually planning on talking about it with you that night. I knew I had fallen in deep with you, but I wanted to make sure you felt the same and were comfortable with it before I told anyone. I’m sorry. I didn't mean for you to think I was just joking. I’m sorry I hadn’t said anything earlier.” Zayn said, slightly relieved that he didn’t completely fuck up over his words this time. He wanted to say more but his emotions were clouding his thoughts.

“You promise?” Niall looked up, his eyes looking bluer and shinier than ever. 

“Yes, Niall I promise. And I’ll do anything to prove it to you” Zayn pleaded. Niall suddenly broke out into a grin and jumped onto Zayn. Zayn caught him and they brought each other into a tight embrace.

“I love you too” Niall whispered into his ear, still holding tight onto Zayn. “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. I was scared”

“It’s okay, I’m sorry I told Harry we were a joke in the first place.” 

“It’s fine, I understand why you did it. Guess we probably should have talked about it sonner eh?” Niall chuckled as he pulled out of the hug and nudged Zayn in the chest.

“Understatement of the year” Zayn rolled his eyes but smiled back. “And I’m sorry I didn’t say anything earlier. Liam convinced me that you were avoiding me because you were uncomfortable with the marriage and just wanted to be mates” Zayn smiled sheepishly.

“Seriously? I gave you a handjob in the back of the bus and got your name tattooed on my ass and you thought I just wanted to be friends?” Niall burst into laughter. Zayn’s heart lit up just at the blonde boy's boisterous laugh. He sure has missed it over the past few days.

“I could say the same to you” Zayn smirked, raising his brow seductively.

“I guess you’re right. Sorry” Niall looked down with a smile.  
“But that reminds me, did they ever find out about your tattoo?” Zayn asked. He was kind of hoping he’d get to be there when Niall showed them. 

“Not yet” Niall’s cheeks grew flushed. “I’ll show them tomorrow, I promise” Niall smiled. Zayn smiled back until he spotted a pile of papers on the desk next to the bed. 

“What are those?” Zayn asked, pointing to the paper. 

“Oh, um, don’t get mad, but they’re divorce papers. We can burn them though if you want” 

‘What? Divorce papers?” Zayn’s mouth fell. 

“To be fair, just a few hours ago I thought you were just playing with me. It wasn’t until Louis came in here and gave me some weird speech about his lack of sex that made me realize that maybe I should talk to you first”

“Louis gave me the same speech!” Zayn chuckled. “Now that I think about it, I probably shouldn’t go back to my room” Zayn’s face fell with realization. 

“Why?” 

“I left Harry and Louis alone in my room”

“Oh” Niall’s eyes widened with shock, until it suddenly turned into a smirk. “You know, we’re alone too…”

“Yeah? What are you gonna do about it Neil Horny?” Zayn smirked back. I

“I have some ideas” Niall smirked, tracing Zayn’s zap! tattoo.

“As long as we can sleep after. Couldn’t get a wink of sleep without you and I think the tiredness and finally getting to me” Zayn rubbed his eyes. 

“Pretty sure it already got to ya. You were a sputtering mess when you first came in ‘ere” Niall chuckled.

“Oh, shut up Niall. I was nervous” Zayn groaned, burying his face into the crook of Niall’s neck.

“I’m just joking ya. Now, all this needs to come off” Niall said, tugging at Zayn’s clothes. And who was Zayn to say no? 

…

“Come on ya losers, we’re getting dinner before the concert” Louis' voice echoed into the room, causing Zayn’s eyes to snap open. He looked around at the scene in front of him. It was just like the morning after their marriage. Zayn and Niall were spooning naked, but this time, Zayn knew the door wasn’t locked. Despite not wanting to disturb Niall, Zayn jumped up and pulled the duvet over them. He knew it would be fairly obvious, especially with how perceptive Louis was, but it was better than nothing. Niall groaned with the sudden movement and his eyes fluttered open, looking at Zayn quizzically. Zayn motioned towards the door as Louis finally made his presence visible in the room, followed by Harry and Liam. 

“Just give us 5 minutes, we can meet you in the lobby” Zayn grinned, hoping to ignore the obvious. The 3 boys gaped at them, but Zayn noticed that Harry and Louis’s hair were all ruffled, so they weren’t in any place to talk. 

“Um, yeah” Liam replied uncomfortably, pulling the two other boys along with him. As they left the room, Louis turned back around with a smirk.

“You sly dogs” Louis turned abc around and left the room, slamming the door to let them know they were gone. 

“Come on Niall” Zayn smiled, running his hands through Niall’s hair. Despite the disturbance, Niall’s eyes were closed again.

“I don’t wanna” Niall murmured, keeping his eyes closed. Zayn rolled his eyes and brought his mouth to Niall’s ear. 

“Oh my god!” Niall jumped up, eyes snapping open and clutching his ear. “We’re already back to ear licking?” 

“Yup!” Zayn grinned. “Now let's get ready, I’m starved”

“Fine. But I’m doing this because food is involved, not for you” Niall pushed himself out of the bed. Zayn pouted and crossed his arms. “Okay, fine, maybe I’m doing it for you. I’m pretty full from the snack I just had to be honest” Niall tried to smirk but just ended up laughing. 

“Ful, huh? Guess that means you won’t be needing any food for dinner then” Zayn teased. He looked around the room for his clothes and threw them on as Niall did the same. 

“Now, don’t get ahead of yourself” Niall quickly defended, a smile still present on his lips. Zayn chuckled as he finally found his last sock sitting on the table next to the divorce papers. 

“We’re gonna have to have a proper bonfire late” Zayn said, pointing to the papers.

“For sure, but only if we can make smores” 

“But I thought I was the snack?” Zayn smirked. 

“Not if smores is an option. Sorry not sorry” Niall grinned as he pulled Zayn towards the door of their room. Zayn smiled back again. Within the past few hours, he probably smiled more than he had in the last few days combined. And while him and Niall still had lots to discuss later, Zayn finally felt at peace again. Everything was falling back into place, even if this had all just started off with some shitty dare from Liam. But Zayn supposes he can’t call the dare shitty since it was honestly the best thing to ever happen in his life.


End file.
